It’s been three months and almost two weeks since I’ve self-harmed. This is the longest I’ve ever gone without it since I started. I still get urges, but I’ve learned that the urges do NOT control what I do. I do not have to self-harm just because I feel like I do. I can learn to cope, express my emotions, and wait through the urges. I won’t lie and say it’s easier, because for me, it’s not yet. It’s still a day to day struggle to remind myself that self-harm is not the solution. It’s something I have to deal with and cope with in a healthy way, and eventually the urges will start to fade just like the scars.
All posts by SPLewis79
never give in…
Never give in to the darkness and the addiction of cutting. You are stronger than you think. You will get better and you can-will- stop.
your tomorrow
i know everyone is told that life gets better, but really think about that. in ten years, none of this will matter. you’ll be so strong. so strong. even in two years, you’ll be okay. promises are made to be broken, so i swear to you, you’ll wake up one day and feel the weight of the world slowly but surely lifting off of you. you’ll be okay. maybe not now, but your “tomorrow” will come.
finding the answers
at first I was scared to tell my best friend, once I did a weight was lifted. she never questioned, but tried to understand. from that day on I learned a lot about myself. I finally found answers that I was looking for.
Not-ashamed
I have been 1 month cut-free. I cut because I wanted people to be attentive to me, no one was noticing me, so I wanted to give them a reason to notice me. Today, I realize I didn’t need to cut, I just needed to talk. Not to a casual friend, but to someone who cares. I’m not ashamed of my past, it is what I do with it to shape my future that matters.
Now fight!
I know it seems stupid to take a life lesson from a movie about a schoolgirl in a mental hospital but I did. I cut for almost three years…I was doing so well until last year. My mom and I became seriously ill. I was in a coma for a week and almost died. My mom did after fighting for 5 months. I’m 24 now and until last June had lived with her almost all my life. We were not only family but friends….My mom fought for five months through horrific pain… She fought for me. It’s only right I fight to honor her. It’s not easy to learn how to live so late in life but I had someone amazing and beautiful to help me believe that maybe faith isn’t something to scoff at. That hope isn’t just a ticket to pain and disappointment. Like it says at the end of Suckerpunch, “You have all the weapons you need. Now fight.”
life is beautiful
I used to self injur it started when I was 15 and went through a traumatic event. It didn’t stop until I was 18 but not before I tried to take my own life. I was always so depressed and never felt like anyone understood me or what I was going through. I got married and was so affraid to tell my husband about it but he saw the scars and I finally explained it to him. He stood by me and he has kept me strong. We have a beautiful 7 month old daughter and I get so scared sometimes because i know someday she will see my scars and ask me where they came from. I wish I knew what to say, I trust God will give me the right words. Life is beautiful and your body is sacred. Don’t ever feel like your alone because I PROMISE you your not.
it does get better
Is it hard to believe that music can save a life? It did for me. “Carolyn” from Black Veil Brides saved me. It stopped me from self harming. If you’re out there cutting yourself,it does get better. Listen to music,block out the messed up society. “You’re not alone,we’ll brave this storm. And face today,you’re not alone”-Black Veil Brides
You can overcome SI
Like many who have recovered, I still think about SI. Sometimes I even have urges. But every time I do I am reminded of why I don’t SI now. You are strong. You can over come this! These messages only confirm this.
Strategies
I find it helps to take your hand and rub/massage the spot you want to self-harm.
