There will come a day where you won’t want to hurt yourself anymore. Where you’ll want to cope some other way. One day you will reach your some day. When that day comes you’ll be so proud of yourself. You’ll be so happy to finally rid of an addiction. But just like any other addiction, even though you stopped it physically, it will always be in the back of your mind. When you’re going through some hard times, that self-harm strategy will come to mind. That’s when mind over matter happens. It’s when you’ll find the strength inside yourself to say no. When you say no, that’s the day. That is the day that is your some day. I promise over time you’ll get there and you will reach that day. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but one day you will reach your some day.

What people who don’t self-harm have trouble understanding is that it is an addiction just like alcohol or drugs is and that even though you stop, the thoughts of wanting to go back don’t go away. Self-harm is always in the back of my mind, and when I feel numb, or even overwhelmed with the emotions, I want to go back to that so quickly. But I remember how hard it was to stop so I don’t want to start back up again. And the days and/or nights when I feel like picking up that knife or the scissors or anything sharp that I could get my hands on, I remind myself of how far I’ve come and how proud I am to be where I am and that I don’t want to do anything that would jeopardize the progress that I’ve made. Everything happens for a reason and I truly believe that with all of my heart. Not only do I believe that this happened to guide me to the career that I am going to have for the rest of my life, but I believe this happened so that I could write on something like this and tell you all who read that it does get better and that one day you truly will have your some day and I hope that when you do, you feel proud and you’ll realize how strong you really are. “Strength does not come from what you can do. It comes from overcoming the things you thought you couldn’t.” So just remember, you can and you will overcome it. One day you’re some day will happen.

Grade eight is when I started, I needed a release. I needed something to show me that I wasn’t numb to the world around me and that I truly could feel something, even though that something I would feel meant feeling pain…. I did it, so that I could feel human. It continued through high school and my first year of college. I did it over the same scar over and over again so that it just looked like it didn’t heal or on my legs where no one could see, I didn’t want anyone noticing, I didn’t want to get attention…. I didn’t want to stop, because of how addicted to it I had become. I let it take over my life, I let it be the solution to all my problems….Eventually, after a little bit in college, I decided that I no longer wanted to be reminded of the pain that I felt and that I needed to cope a different way, a healthier way. I wanted a way that still reminded me that I am human, and that I am not numb to everything around me but I wanted it to happen in a way where I didn’t have to physically hurt myself to remind myself of that. I have not self-harmed for three years now and I am so proud of myself. And I want you all to know that for those struggling with self-harm, there will come a day where you will get yourself to stop. Maybe not today, tomorrow, a week/a month/a year away; but one day, you will get to your some day. When you get to your some day, it’ll be the best feeling in the world and you’ll be so happy that you got yourself to stop.

I’m sharing my story tonight as I fight the urge to self injure. I starting cutting when I was 15 years old. I am 31 now. I will have almost a year SI free in a couple weeks. It has been difficult but worth it to continue in this journey of healing and beginning to like who I am. Why continue to punish myself for the past, especially when the reason I started to begin with wasn’t even my fault. Loving myself and forgiving myself may be the hardest things I ever learn to do, but I am determined to make that happen and to move forward every day. Each day I don’t pick up a razor is a day that hope and strength grow. I’m becoming a healthy woman, and I hope to help others who are struggling. It may be difficult but it is possible.

I tend to get very attached to celebtrities that are inspiring. One of my favorite singers is Kendall Schmidt (Big Time Rush and Heffron Drive)are his two bands and one thing that he has always reminded his fans is to “Take your passion and run with it; anything is possible.” And from that quote I took the anything is possible, because it is. I have been through tough times in my own life, but I can tell you that recovery IS possible and you can do anything as long as you believe in yourself. So just remember when you are having a bad day, week, month etc. just know that you will be able to get through it.

things used to be at a point where i decided to self-harm , and to become unaware of all the people there for me , i was never alone , deciding to stop self-harming was an emotional thing at the time but i decided change was the best , change is the key of everything , love, laugh and live happily (: we should cherish all the good and just know that everything does get better , if you self-harm let a trusted adult know, its never late to stop , people love you , never forget