I’m getting better. Having not cut for 3 months is a big deal for me. I do miss my razor sometimes but then I look at how misruble it made. How it made things worse. I’m not happy yet but I have to say I am not that depressed as I used to be. If you are a person reading this who SI’s, know it gets better. It takes time. It isn’t going to be easy, but stay strong. If I could do it you can too. Best of luck to everyone who wants and is getting better. I really wish all the best for you!!
All posts by SPLewis79
Write about how you feel
I’ve started to keep a journal to write down how I feel. It’s soooooo helpful to just get it out. Whenever I feel sad or when I think about burning agin, I just write and write…after a bit of time I don’t want to do it anymore…just thought Id share. xoxox
I remember
There is such a terrible stigma around self-injury, because so many people do not understand it – but I do, and there are a lot of us who do. You are not alone. I began engaging in self-injury when I was 15 years-old. I wanted to stop the emotional pain, and the physical pain was not only a distraction, but it provided me with immediate relief. However, the relief was only temporary and did not allow me to deal with my problems in an effective manner. I continued to harm myself for 9 more years as a way of coping, and finally got the help I needed years later. I am happy to say that I have not harmed myself in over 5 years, and can’t even imagine ever thinking of doing so again. There is always hope, for every single one of us, and we can overcome this together!
A life worth living
I started with self-injury when I was very young and it helped me somehow. At least I thought so…. I lost many friends over the years because they could not deal with it, I was not able to have a stable relationship and it even kept me from working in the field that I wanted to work in – I always dreamed of being a police officer. They told me I was weak, not strong enough, even though I didn’t hurt myself in several years at that time. I heard it from everybody and it opened my eyes. My grandma taught me, to always be positive and keep pushing through. I knew, I was strong. So why did I do this to myself? Why did I keep destroying everything? The moment the police doctor told me, I was not good enough, was the moment I knew I had to change something. Of course it is still inside me and sometimes I feel the urge, but I have changed and I don’t wanna let anything take over my life again. I am married now and my husband is the main reason, that keeps me strong. I want a life with him, I want a life worth living. He is the only person who never judged me for who I am, for what is sleeping inside me.
Talk to someone
Going to see my school counselor sounded like a really scary thing, but it was so helpful for me. Don’t be worried about other students’ stigma or that teachers will find out and your grades will be affected, if anything, talking to my counselor helped my grades because it helped my depression. If you really don’t want to see someone at school, you can talk to your doctor and they can refer you to independent counseling. Learning to open up to trusting people helped make my feelings lift.
