I started cutting at 12 years old. From 12 to 16 it was a serious, often daily problem. I didn’t definitively stop until I was 18, until I was far enough out of my black hole to really see and feel how much it destroyed someone that loved me. I so desperately wish I could go back and tell my 12 year old self, and really get her to believe, all the reasons I never should have cut. I would say:
When at twelve you don’t know why you haven’t felt alive for over a year and you sit alone in your room every night, you’re going to read this book called “Cut”. The girl cuts herself; the story is meant to show that self-injurers are not alone, there are ways out, people do care, and most of all to discourage people from ever cutting. When you read this, my first plea is you hear what it is trying to tell you instead of trying it for yourself. Because once you start you will be trapped. In the beginning, when you still have a chance of quitting, before it destroys you, it will physically feel too good, be too satisfying, feel like you need it too much, and mostly; you wont think its a big deal, you’ll think you wont care about the scars, that you don’t care what people think, and that you can stop whenever you want. Its all wrong. My second plea its that when you are here, you really try to find a productive alternative to cutting. Take up running, or focus more on your art, something that will build you in the long run, not destroy you. Something that will actually continue help you, unlike cutting….. Please realize that cutting isn’t worth it. Still now, cutting will creep up and tell you to hurt this amazing person that you love more than anything. It’s all not worth it, once you step back and look at all of it, not just feel each slice, it’s horrible.
So please, I’m begging you, don’t do this to yourself, to me.
