Grade eight is when I started, I needed a release. I needed something to show me that I wasn’t numb to the world around me and that I truly could feel something, even though that something I would feel meant feeling pain…. I did it, so that I could feel human. It continued through high school and my first year of college. I did it over the same scar over and over again so that it just looked like it didn’t heal or on my legs where no one could see, I didn’t want anyone noticing, I didn’t want to get attention…. I didn’t want to stop, because of how addicted to it I had become. I let it take over my life, I let it be the solution to all my problems….Eventually, after a little bit in college, I decided that I no longer wanted to be reminded of the pain that I felt and that I needed to cope a different way, a healthier way. I wanted a way that still reminded me that I am human, and that I am not numb to everything around me but I wanted it to happen in a way where I didn’t have to physically hurt myself to remind myself of that. I have not self-harmed for three years now and I am so proud of myself. And I want you all to know that for those struggling with self-harm, there will come a day where you will get yourself to stop. Maybe not today, tomorrow, a week/a month/a year away; but one day, you will get to your some day. When you get to your some day, it’ll be the best feeling in the world and you’ll be so happy that you got yourself to stop.
