All posts by SPLewis79

a reason not to go back

I was 9 when I started using self harm as a way to distract myself from my emotional problems. It became a part of my daily routine, either I was punishing myself for eating to much or I was using it to feel something I understood. It wasn’t until I turned 16 I realized there are better ways to deal with my stress and troubles. I started looking at the risks of what I was doing to myself to give me a reason to stop and think ”I shouldn’t do this. I deserve better”. I had a lot of falls but I never failed to pick myself back up and start over. I am now 20 and I haven’t cut myself in over a year. I actually feel good about myself and look at my scares as a thing I got past and a reason not to go back.

anything is possible

I tend to get very attached to celebtrities that are inspiring. One of my favorite singers is Kendall Schmidt (Big Time Rush and Heffron Drive)are his two bands and one thing that he has always reminded his fans is to “Take your passion and run with it; anything is possible.” And from that quote I took the anything is possible, because it is. I have been through tough times in my own life, but I can tell you that recovery IS possible and you can do anything as long as you believe in yourself. So just remember when you are having a bad day, week, month etc. just know that you will be able to get through it.

i am alive

I’m over a year clean and even though I’ve made it this far that doesn’t mean I don’t get the want, or need sometimes. But I’ve learned something, something that’s kept me from giving in or giving up. I am bigger, better, braver. I am bigger than the want to cut, I am better than how I may feel sometimes, and I am brave enough to talk about my problems. I am still here, I am still breathing, I am alive, so let me live.

never forget

things used to be at a point where i decided to self-harm , and to become unaware of all the people there for me , i was never alone , deciding to stop self-harming was an emotional thing at the time but i decided change was the best , change is the key of everything , love, laugh and live happily (: we should cherish all the good and just know that everything does get better , if you self-harm let a trusted adult know, its never late to stop , people love you , never forget

scars and healing

You can see a scar and see hurt. But I prefer to look at my scars and see healing.

recovery process

Urges and relapses are going to happen, they are a part of the recovery process. The point is to make the amount of time between the relapses longer until the urges are no longer there.

scars don’t define me

People see your scars rather you know it or not. I have a faithful man in my life and have a child on the way we have been together now for four months and before we became a couple he knew I was troubled. He knew I had been through some terrible things,he also knew I self harmed myself he just wasn’t completely for sure what I was doing to myself. Now he knows why I did it, he also knows I was a cutter. There is no secrets anymore. It feels great not to worry about that no more it also feels good to know my scars don’t define me they remind me I survived!

stay strong…you’re amazing

I struggled with depression and self harm for years. I met a guy and we started dating(still are). at an early age of 13, I became pregnant with his child. When I was 3 months pregnant, I had a miscarriage. the day we found out about the miscarriage, my boyfriend and I both promised to never cut again because we knew our baby would be looking down on us from heaven. it’s been 4 months since then, and we’re both doing great. we thank our little angel and each other for helping us move on from this stage in our life. although my story most likely isn’t relatable to many of you, my point is that if you find the right motivation, you can promise to stop cutting or self harming and never look back. I know it sounds crAzy now, believe me. but if you stay strong and hold on, taking life a day at a time, or even an hour at a time , things WILL get better. good luck and stay strong all of you lovely people. You’re amazing

never alone

I thank everyone for sharing their stories – I do believe it makes us all stronger knowing we’re not alone!

changing…

I self harmed for about 6 years, it started off because I always thought I wasn’t good enough, then when I got older my best friend had killed himself, since that day it made me realize that if I were to kill myself I wouldn’t only be hurting me, but hurting every one else. I couldn’t believe that I could possibly put my loved ones through that awful pain. so I started changing my ways, every time I felt the urge to self harm. I would go out and long board, or call up one of my friends to hang out. and soon enough I wasn’t thinking about it all the time. and I felt great.(and my skin was looking great!). since that time I haven’t self harmed or even thought about it. that would be about 3 years ago. and I couldn’t be happier.