From the outside looking in my life seemed fairly perfect. An only child, loving parents, pets, I lived near the beach, I had a lot of friends, my home life was good, I made good grades…ect. But on the inside I was lonely. I had a lot of anger. I resented my parents for my lack of love. My perception wasn’t clear. I began to cut in middle school and stopped in high school. I experimented with other types of SH. I needed an outlet for my anger and hurt and loss. Thankfully one day I decided that this wasn’t helping my life. It was making me miserable. So I stopped. I was always able to stop, I just didn’t know how to control my emotions. But thankfully I have learned. I poured my heart and soul into journaling. I had found a safe place to express my feelings. I wrote deep and dark poems. I could almost feel the anger seep out of me and become the ink in which I wrote. It was like magic. Since those dark days I have given my life to Jesus, gotten married to an amazing man who loves me likeJesus does, and I’ve found a career I’m passionate about. I haven’t SH in years. And I have gotten a lot better at handling my urges and temptations.
I can relate to this so much.