A life worth living

I started with self-injury when I was very young and it helped me somehow. At least I thought so…. I lost many friends over the years because they could not deal with it, I was not able to have a stable relationship and it even kept me from working in the field that I wanted to work in – I always dreamed of being a police officer. They told me I was weak, not strong enough, even though I didn’t hurt myself in several years at that time. I heard it from everybody and it opened my eyes. My grandma taught me, to always be positive and keep pushing through. I knew, I was strong. So why did I do this to myself? Why did I keep destroying everything? The moment the police doctor told me, I was not good enough, was the moment I knew I had to change something. Of course it is still inside me and sometimes I feel the urge, but I have changed and I don’t wanna let anything take over my life again. I am married now and my husband is the main reason, that keeps me strong. I want a life with him, I want a life worth living. He is the only person who never judged me for who I am, for what is sleeping inside me.

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